by Tewa Muller of ThisGirlsBlackBook
I don’t often write posts dedicated to the partners of naturalistas but I thought it would be a good idea to share some tips on dating women with natural hair. Because no matter how you look at it; we naturalistas certainly have our own ways. Therefore I put together a list with the top 9 things you need to know when dating women with natural hair:
1: YOU and Only you can touch her hair
Her hair is a part of her body. You, as a loving and devoted partner, are allowed to touch it just like the rest of her body. That being said, she probably won’t like it when strangers (your nosy friends, parents or others) touch it without asking permission. Especially not when adding: “Wow. I didn’t expect it to be this soft.”
If you do feel the need to touch her hair, you’re doing this at your own risk. What risk you ask? The fact that your hand will be covered in oil or leave in conditioner. So, don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
You’ll have to learn to accept that you won’t be able to share your Sundays together as they’re dedicated to washing her hair. This means that the whole day will be dedicated to cleaning and conditioning her hair. Try to understand this and don’t rush her into anything. If you push her into hurrying up, so she can still do something with the rest of her day (yes, I’ve been told this before), she will try to speed up the process. But this just means that her hair will break even more as she will treat it with less patience. Give her the time she needs.
Yes, sweet Lord yes. She does need all of the products she has laying around the bathroom. You asked for a woman with a full set of hair and therefore you’ll have to accept that her hair products will take up 70% of the bathroom cabinet. And some of the shelves. And maybe your side of the bed.
5: Don’t ever call her a Snoop Dogg look-a-like
Even if she has mad rapping skills, no woman with braids wants to hear this. She braids her hair every night in order to preserve moisture and prevent it from tangling. This is a must for women with natural hair. It might take a while but it pays off. You can support her by offering a short neck massage. Saying she looks like Snoop Doggy Dog (now Snoop Lion) is somewhat less supportive.
Don’t ever, and I mean EVER, throw her hair products away without running it past her. Always ask if you can throw it out even if there’s a thick layer of dust on it. For all you know it’s her once-every-three-months-amazing-secret-cream-formula. Just because we don’t use our products on a regular base, does not mean that we don’t need it anymore.
7: Ignore the nightcap
Every night we go to bed, we put on our satin nightcap. The best thing to do is act like you don’t see it. A big no-no is saying that she is wearing a funny cooking hat. We most definitely know that the cap is not a sexy addition to our life, but it’s a must have to moisture natural hair and prevent it from tangling.
8: Curls everywhere in the house
If you live with a naturalista your house will probably be covered in little curly hairs. You might not like this or find it unhygienic, but the solution to the problem is: a hoover. Don’t ever mention that the curls look like pubic hair! If you make this mistake you might end up in a huge fight in which scenario you’ll be cleaning up the hairs by yourself.
9: She often changes her hairdo
Bron foto: Keturah Ariel
Natural hair is very versatile. One day she’ll be rocking an afro, while the next day she could have it tied back real tight. The week after she might have braids and the week after she might have taken them out to rock a ‘braid out’. That’s the amazing part of having natural hair!
ISN’T IT GREAT HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN WOMAN WITH NATURAL HAIR??