Does Having Natural Hair Make Finding Love Harder?

By Hollis

Let’s just go ahead and have a real conversation about a real issue. Why are women with natural hair are constantly being told to straiten it if they want a chance at finding love? Though I assumed this ridiculous kind of thinking was only an issue in the black community, the season premier of The Millionaire Matchmaker proved me wrong.

On the show, real-life cupid Patti Stanger tells a curly-haired potential date, “Straighten your hair. You look like a poodle!”

Really Patti? I’ve seen poodle-like curly hair before and this girl looked nothing like the ringlet-covered pooches. But even worse than insulting a girl with beautiful loose curls is the fact that she is telling women to change their looks to find love. Ironically, a matchmaker’s job is to match people based on who they really are. After all, what kind of a future do you have with a partner if you have to spend the rest of your life looking like someone you are not?

Women with natural hair are pressured to change their look to fit into a mold, but what’s going to happen when you go swimming or take a bath together? Is it really more attractive to have a girl saying, ‘I can’t wet my hair’ or ‘I can’t ruin this blowout? Isn’t it better to have a woman who feels good about her natural beauty and has the ability to be spontaneous? After all, it’s hard to love a woman who doesn’t feel good about herself. And besides, it’s wrong to start a relationship with false advertising or lies. (It would be seriously messed up if the guy you’ve been dating for a month suddenly popped off a toupee that you thought was his hair.) Not cool man, not cool!

The best solution is to embrace your hair’s natural texture and make the best of it—whether you’re naturally curly or naturally straight. Because makeup and clothes come off, but your hair is attached to you. If some dum-dum you’re crushing on can’t look past your hair texture to see how awesome you are, he is clearly not the one!

The thing about having your hair look fabulous is that your self-esteem soars. And what’s sexier and more alluring than a truly confident woman who is comfortable in her own skin…and her hair?


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